Scary FYP

Hmmm... Seems like my routine for this few days was:
Wake up.. Eat.. Project... Eat... Project... Eat... Project... Sleep...
Lucky Lucky!!!!
Will be handing in the draft this friday!!!!
HAVE A BREAK!!! Woho!!!
I was thinking, why do people want us to submit such a report?
Frankly speaking, when reader reads the report, they only read the important parts...
They won't spend the time reading those introduction, purpose, scope... Bla bla bla....
Sometimes, I felt that, waste my time of writing whereby people don't read... haha!
Nevermind them...
Haha!!!! Ending soon ending soon!!!!

Happy New Year!

Haha! After so many months, I decided to post something on my blog, again.
Hmmm... Today I intended to do my FYP and try to do as much as possible....
BUT, I only did a small portion of it!
Finally changed my internet provider to Starhub after using another one for so many years!
The previous provider actually give me a great headache... The connection really yucks!
Now changed to starhub, hopes it is good.. =)
But, too bad.. My desktop can't connect to it as the internet was installed in my dad's study room. Now my poor little desktop has to use external wireless modem with the little low internet connect.
Hmmmm... So, what should I do with the old modem, plugs and everything???
I'm thinking of posting it on ebay and sell it... Hehe!!!
Hope I can sell it and earn afew bucks!

What is Love all about???

What is love???
I thought LOVE is between 2 person and it needs 2 of them to get it nuture and grow??
It can't be just one said giving and the other taking...
One way communication, is that really workable for a relationship??
I don't think so...
Men tends to keep what they feels to themselves, expecting the girl to know what they actually is thinking.... Isn't it so?
Being angry at the guys isn't what girls enjoy...
Particularly me, I am tired of just getting unhappy in a relationship...
I had tried being happy and feeling happy in this relationship...
Indeed, I'm happy since the beginning of this relationship...
Everytime when I am being asked about my relationship, I gave a very positive answer...
Really, I thought I am always very happy in this relationship, regardless of the problems that had been happening recently... between us...
But, it doesn't goes as expected... At least, I feels so...
Comes to think about it, what do I achieved by throwing tantrum at him and nagging at him???
I think, is nothing... Everything goes back to square one again not long after....
Instead, it makes me feels more and more like adding pressure into this relationship....
I knew that, this problem between us getting serious since my birthday...
And, he doesn't wish that to happen too...
I admit that, I'm being selfish.... I care more about my own than his....
But comes to think about it again, I got tired when I throw tantrum at him, he will feels so too, right???
What for??? What has this relationship becomes???
I knew that, it's not everyday cloudy day when I'm with him... But, at least 3 days in a week, it is... At least 43% of my time with him, tends to turn into cloudy days...
What am I going to do???

Twist on my 22nd Birthday

First of all, I want to thank all the MS Peepz for celebrating my birthday on 5th Nov with me, in Kushinbo...
And thanks for the crocos voucher! hehe! I finally bought a crocos... Haha!!!
So, my actual day of birthday, which is yesterday, 6th nov, it was planned to celebrate together with James....
But in the end, due to some unforesee circumstances, he had to leave me alone and left me with disappointment.
I know that he had no choice as some thing serious had happened to his family.
In the end, I spent my last few hours of my birthday in TTSH.
The atmosphere there was tensed...
Suddenly I realised that, we must really cherish the people around us as we won't know what will happened any moment....
Someone who is fit and healthy, can suddenly just landed up in hospital with caused still unknown...
I don't dare to enter into the CCU as I knew that I will definitely shed tears....
I did not want to add in additional sorrow to his family....
I don't know what can I do other than sitting there to accompany him....
A sudden thought of death, it can be so scary....
If I knew that I will definitely die, I will not want the doctor to try and rescue me....
If I knew that I can survive if the doctor try to save me, I don't mind going through all the torturing treatments and suffer for a period of time....
I really hope that the 2nd thought of mine can actually happen....
I should change my birthday wish....
I wish that, the person in hospital can wake up as soon as possible... Your family is waiting for you...
God bless you....

Is This What I Want?

Had been busy with projects, tests, tuitions for the past few weeks...
Finally this 3 days, I had some rest from projects and tests... But, I still have those tuitions....
Hmmm... Being in a relationship is a very difficuit module to learn...
To be in a relationship, is to find happiness...
But, along this path, there's alot of things that makes me sad...
It totally depends on whether I can hold on to it and pass all this barriers...
But, I'm afraid, I can't as I am a person who give up easily....

Fear....

I'm fear..... Fear of the arrival of this evening....
Yesterday midnight, I drank the cough syrup before sleeping cuz I'm having mild sore throat...
Today early in the morning, my dad came in and started scolding me...
But I didn't have the energy to talk to him too much cuz the medicine effect is still theere...
Around 11 plus, my sis called my hp and I got scolded again!
Well.. this time round, I was awaken by her...
I had left a bundle of brand new polo tees at the back of the car....
And she had drove it into our neighboring country....
Gosh... She was so pissed cuz the custom officer wanna tax her on those clothes....
So... No choice but to pay... My fault for leaving the clothes in the boot...
Then, I walked to the kitchen to clarify with my dad what had happened this morning...
My house was on fire becuz of faulty of power socket....
He said that even I was burnt to death, also won't be waken by the fire...
Gosh... I drank medicine, of cuz out of conscious....
Then, I told him about the polo tees that I had left in the boot of the car and had been taxed...
HE STARTED SCOLDING ME AGAIN....
He asked me why I don't want to bring them up to the house, instead I had so much money and wanna it to be tax unnecessarily...
For goodness sake, I'm not the dumb... If I remember, of cuz I will bring them up...
But the problem is, I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT TOTALLY, NOT THAT I PURPOSELY DON'T WANT TO BRING THEM UP!!!!
Haiz... Later around evening time, when my sis comes back to Singapore...
She might be taxed by Singapore Custom... Argh!!!!
I'm worried... Fear... Not becuz of the money that I had to pay her back on the unneccessary tax... BUt, the scolding that I will get....

Stranger....

Went for a total of 5 tuitions today....
I think my illness got from bad to worse...
Headache become so serious that I feel as if I'm floating in the air when I'm walking...
So, met him for dinner after my tuition in Westmall...
I'm so grumpy... and I decided not to have dinner...
Well... I think he got pissed off in the train and said something that hurts me alot...
The moment I heard what he said, I felt that, he suddenly become a stranger to me....
He had misinterpret my words and said it in such a unpleasant way....
Out of a sudden, automatically, I had switched to protective mode....
I tends to fear of talking... Walking closer.... And even looking at him....
While eating my bowl of porridge, I didn't even lift my head up...
After eating, I just feels like hiding myself somewhere....
So, headed back home and we just say good bye at the lift....
I'm still feeling very uncomfortable....
My head is spinning like mad and I had been trying my best to walk normally when with him....
I got home and took the medicine and went down to the clinic again....
After quite awhile while waiting for my turn, I smsed him and told him that I'm at the clinic...
I thought he had already went up the train and headed back home... But NO... He was still somewhere nearby... So, he walked back to the clinic and looked for me...
I tooked the medicine from the clinic and once again, he sent me to the lift, and just say good bye...
My heart sunk....
I realised... I dunno what I want....
I want him to be by my side.. Yet, I dun wan him to waste his time on me....
I want him to care for me... Yet I dun wan him to do so much things for me, feeling that it's not worth it....
First time in this relationship, or should I say, first time in the past 3 years, I had never "transformed" my eyes into the condition like what it is now...
But I know that, he started to get angry at me...
It's time for me to start to prevent myself from dropping tears like now....
It's my fault today...