Stranger....

Went for a total of 5 tuitions today....
I think my illness got from bad to worse...
Headache become so serious that I feel as if I'm floating in the air when I'm walking...
So, met him for dinner after my tuition in Westmall...
I'm so grumpy... and I decided not to have dinner...
Well... I think he got pissed off in the train and said something that hurts me alot...
The moment I heard what he said, I felt that, he suddenly become a stranger to me....
He had misinterpret my words and said it in such a unpleasant way....
Out of a sudden, automatically, I had switched to protective mode....
I tends to fear of talking... Walking closer.... And even looking at him....
While eating my bowl of porridge, I didn't even lift my head up...
After eating, I just feels like hiding myself somewhere....
So, headed back home and we just say good bye at the lift....
I'm still feeling very uncomfortable....
My head is spinning like mad and I had been trying my best to walk normally when with him....
I got home and took the medicine and went down to the clinic again....
After quite awhile while waiting for my turn, I smsed him and told him that I'm at the clinic...
I thought he had already went up the train and headed back home... But NO... He was still somewhere nearby... So, he walked back to the clinic and looked for me...
I tooked the medicine from the clinic and once again, he sent me to the lift, and just say good bye...
My heart sunk....
I realised... I dunno what I want....
I want him to be by my side.. Yet, I dun wan him to waste his time on me....
I want him to care for me... Yet I dun wan him to do so much things for me, feeling that it's not worth it....
First time in this relationship, or should I say, first time in the past 3 years, I had never "transformed" my eyes into the condition like what it is now...
But I know that, he started to get angry at me...
It's time for me to start to prevent myself from dropping tears like now....
It's my fault today...